Dec 14th, 2009
There was a time back in the day, before “back in the day” meant back in the day, when it was easy to be a Couch Potato for college bowl season.
Just seven bowls existed, and six were squeezed into a single New Year’s Day afternoon fighting for time on TV’s three black-and-white channels while Mom held the antenna to minimize the snow.
That was 1957, when Woody Hayes was the coach of No. 2 Ohio State, No. 1 Auburn did not play in a bowl because it was on probation, and bowl viewing was a snap.
This year 34 bowl games on 17 different days are spread over a 20-day period on six different stations. More than half the Division I-A teams are bowl participants, and nine of the 68 bowl teams don’t even have winning records. One game, the Insight Bowl, features two teams without winning records, the definition of bowl mediocrity. The NFL Channel televises that college bowl game, demonstrating again that you can’t judge a network by its label.
With this onslaught of postseason insignificance interrupted only occasionally by captivating matchups, today’s sophisticated Couch Potato (now there’s an oxymoron) needs guidance to parcel out his viewing time. Afterall, time for Christmas shopping, holiday parties, and general merry-making needs to be carved out too.
Fear not. We are here to help, providing all you need to know to decide which games to watch and maximize your holiday bowl-viewing enjoyment.
We will rate all 34 games on our scientifically-tested Watchability Scale, which is based on five criteria: pregame intrigue, quality of participants, star power, entertainment potential and game-time appeal.
The games will be listed in chronological order, with the big number in front representing the bowl’s Watchability ranking and the color reflecting the game’s TV viewing category, defined as follows:
GREEN – Claim illnes (“It must have been the fish I ate”) and stay home from your boss’ big holiday party to watch the game with friends and a six-pack, even if it means jeopardizing a promotion.
BLUE – Go to the boss’ party, but soon after arrival, seek out an unoccupied TV in a back room and flick on the game, lock the door, sit down, and watch until someone discovers you.
ORANGE – Continue socializing at the boss’s party until the promotion is assured, but if the boredom becomes intolerable and a buddy suggests watching the game’s final minutes at the corner bar, sneak out graciously if the opportunity presents itself.
RED – Even if the boss is boring you to tears with stories of his recent fishing trip to Newfoundland, hang in there and listen, because the game is just as repulsive.
26. New Mexico Bowl, December 19, 1 p.m., ESPN – Fresno State (8-4) vs. Wyoming (6-6)
The very first bowl game, and already one of those dreaded 6-6 teams appears. Fresno State has some Northern California appeal, and the Bulldogs’ Ryan Mathews leads the nation in rushing yards per game (151.3).
24. St. Petersburg Bowl, December 19, 5 p.m., ESPN – Central Florida (8-4) vs. Rutgers (8-4):
The better choice in this slot is the Cowboys-Saints NFL game, but that’s on the NFL Network, so you may be stuck with this one. In case you are wondering, CFU is in Conference USA. At least you know where the game is being played (no, it’s not in Russia, smart guy).
31. New Orleans Bowl, December 20, 5:30 p.m., ESPN – Southern Miss (7-5) vs. Middle Tennessee (9-3)
Another game that does not leave you guessing about its location, but you may have to guess why you have this game on instead of the Vikings-Panthers NFL game. Don’t let Middle Tennessee’s record fool you; it played in the Sun Belt Conference.
12. Las Vegas Bowl, December 22, 5 p.m., ESPN – Oregon State (8-4) vs. BYU (10-2)
Appealing to West Coast folks, this game between ranked teams features two pretty good quarterbacks (Oregon State’s Sean Canfield and BYU’s Max Hall) and one pretty good running back (OSU’s Jacquizz Rodgers). And what else are you doing early on a Tuesday night?
7. Poinsettia Bowl, December 23, 5 p.m., ESPN – Cal (8-4) vs. Utah (9-3)
Cal fans will be warm in San Diego -- Photo by Robert Beck/Sports Illustrated
The Bears will draw a Bay Area audience despite landing in this disappointing bowl, so make yourself a gin and tonic and relax after coming home from your final work day before the holidays. Cal QB Kevin Riley is interesting because you never know what you’ll get, and when Utah QB Jordan Wynn becomes a star, you can say you saw him when he was a raw freshman.
28. Hawaii Bowl, December 24, 5 p.m., ESPN – Nevada (8-4) vs. SMU (7-5)
We hope you have better things to do on Christmas Even than watch SMU coach June Jones come back to Hawaii after leading Hawaii to the Sugar Bowl two years ago. Unless you get worked up over the nuances of Nevada’s Pistol Offense, let the family rule the evening.
32. Little Caesars Bowl, December 26, 10 a.m., ESPN – Marshall (6-6) vs. Ohio (9-4)
It’s a disheartening sign of the times that something called the Little Caesars Bowl even exists, and the fact that it starts in mid-morning on the West Coast and features a 6-6 team from a mediocre conference (Marshall finished tied for fourth in its six-team division of Conference-USA) completes the depressing picture.
11. Meineke Car Care Bowl, December 26, 1:30 p.m., ESPN – Pittsburgh (9-3) vs. North Carolina (8-4)
The middle game amid 10 consecutive hours of bowl-game action on one channel, this game matches two decent teams that could have been playing for even bigger stakes if they had won their final regular-season games.
14. Emerald Bowl, December 26, 5 p.m., ESPN – USC (8-4) vs. Boston College (8-4)
The game at San Francisco’s AT&T Park is nicely situated early Saturday evening on a day without NFL competition, allowing viewers to watch the always-intriguing Trojans before heading out on the town. Sagging USC has a chance to lose its fifth game, and that may be worth witnessing.
17. Music City Bowl, December 27, 5:30 p.m., ESPN – Clemson (8-5) vs. Kentucky (7-5)
The only appeal here is flashy Clemson runner-returner C.J. Spiller, and if he not on the field, it’s best to click over to the Cowboys-Redskins NFL game on NBC. Even if the pro game is meaningless, Al Michaels will make it more entertaining.
20. Independence Bowl, December 28, 2 p.m., ESPN2 – Texas A&M (6-6) VS. Georgia (7-5)
Two teams thoroughly discouraged with their seasons go at it on a Monday afternoon in Shreveport, La. Sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Both played better at the end of the season, but don’t skip work for this one – unless you hate your job, of course.
23. Eagle Bank Bowl, December 29, 1:30 p.m., ESPN — UCLA (6-6) vs. Temple (9-3)
This is weird. UCLA had to wait around until Army lost to Navy on Dec. 12 to get into the postseason. Temple is a great story. A terrible teams for years and years, the Owls lost their opener to Division I-AA Villanova and lost their second game 31-6 to Penn State before reeling off nine straight wins. Temple has already beaten Army this season.
13. Champs Sports Bowl, December 29, 5 p.m., ESPN – Miami (9-3) vs. Wisconsin (9-3)
A pleasant early Tuesday evening game between two pretty good teams that at least have some name recognition. Each team has an offensive star – Miami QB Jacory Harris, who was in the Heisman discussion before fading the second half of the season, and Wisconsin’s all-Big Ten running back John Clay.
29. Humanitarian Bowl, December 30, 1:30 p.m., ESPN — Bowling Green (7-5) vs. Idaho (7-5)
Idaho is a good story, but that is better to read about than to watch. The most interesting thing about the game is the blue turf at Bronco Stadium. It looks even better (or worse, depending on your point of view) in HD. After a quarter of looking at that, though, your eyes may start playing tricks on you.
9. Holiday Bowl, December 30, 5 p.m., ESPN – Arizona (8-4) vs. Nebraska (9-4)
The most intriguing player in the game is a defensive tackle, Nebraska’s Ndamukong Suh, who is as entertaining as a defensive lineman can be. Arizona QB Nick Foles has his moments, and Nebraska QB Zac Lee went to high school at St. Ignatius in San Francisco and is the son of former NFL QB Bob Lee.
21. Armed Forces Bowl, December 31, 9 a.m., ESPN – Houston (10-3) vs. Air Force (7-5)
Houston QB Case Keenum will pass until his arm falls and throw a lot of touchdown passes, so he’s certainly entertaining enough. But the game is too darn early for an self-respecting Coach Potato (if any Coach Potato does indeed respect himself).
8. Sun Bowl, December 31, 11 a.m., CBS – Stanford (8-4) vs. Oklahoma (7-5)
Toby Gerhart, the Heisman runnerup and a bruising runner, is enough of a drawing card, even at this early hour and even though Cardinal QB Andrew Luck, a lock to be an NFL star some day, may not play. This is the first bowl game of the year not on one of ESPN’s stations.
22. Texas Bowl, December 31, 12:30 p.m., ESPN – Navy (8-4) vs. Missouri (8-4)
The precision with which Navy runs the triple option with QB Ricky Dobbs can be interesting for a while, but if the Sun Bowl is still close, that is the better option until it’s over.
33. Insight Bowl, December 31, 3 p.m., NFL Channel – Minnesota (6-6) vs. Iowa State (6-6)
A lot of people don’t get the NFL Channel so any description here is moot (I love the word “moot”). If you do get the NFL Channel, there is no reason to watch a game in which neither team has a winning record when the slightly better Chick-Fil-A Bowl will start at about halftime.
15. Chick-fil-A Bowl, December 31, 4:30 p.m., ESPN – Virginia Tech (9-3) vs. Tennessee (7-5)
The last of the five games that day, this might end up being the best of the bunch. Virginia Tech QB Tyrod Taylor can do a lot of things that are worth watching. Lane Kiffin’s Vols won four of their last five after a 3-4 start. You will still have time to hit a New Year’s party afterward.
25. Outback Bowl, January 1, 8 a.m., ESPN – Northwestern (8-4) vs. Auburn (7-5)
Way too early for the veteran Coach Potato, who presumably watched the New Year roll in the night before, especially when one of the participants (Auburn) went 3-5 in conference play. Northwestern’s QB is Mike Kafka, but we will refrain from the obvious existential references.
5. Capital One Bowl, January 1, 10 a.m., ABC – Penn State (10-2) vs. LSU (9-3)
It is worth getting up in time for the fourth quarter just to see what ludicrous decision LSU coach Les Miles will make. These are two talented teams, but the offensive players of note belong to Penn State – running back Evan Royster and quarterback Daryll Clark.
16. Gator Bowl, January 1, 10 a.m., CBS – West Virginia (9-3) vs. Florida State (6-6)
West Virginia is the better team, but the focus will be on the Florida State sidelines as Bobby Bowden coaches his final game. Check out the game at the start to see Bobby’s expression then, then turn to the Capital One Bowl until the game is over, and click back and listen to Bowden’s folksy farewell.
2. Rose Bowl, January 1, 1:30 p.m., ABC – Oregon (10-2) vs. Ohio State (10-2)
Good teams, perfect time, West Coast interest, traditional Pac-10-Big Ten matchup again, etc., etc. No offense is as entertaining as Oregon’s as it fakes and throws and laterals and runs this way and that without a huddle. Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has his moments, but is not yet the player he was expected to be and the Buckeyes have had postseason problems lately.
3. Sugar Bowl, January 1, 5:30 p.m., Fox – Florida (12-1) vs. Cincinnati (12-0)
Do you know who Jeff Quinn is? Well, he’ll be Cincinnati’s head coach in this attractive and significant matchup of top-five teams. Keep an eye on Tim Tebow to see if launches into one of his mid-game tirades to inspire the team. If the Bearcats win, they will be claiming they should have been in the national-championship game. By the way, Florida coach Urban Meyer was a defensive back for Cincinnati back in the day.
34. International Bowl, January 2, 9 a.m., ESPN2 – South Florida (7-5) vs. Northern Illinois (7-5)
Photo by DigitalJournal.com
Everything about this game in Toronto is wrong. An inferior bowl in January is sacrilege, and having two nothing teams start at 9 in the morning West Coast time in a contest outside the United States . . . (Sigh) . . . Does this really count as a bowl game? Watch the Saturday-morning cartoons.
27. PapaJohns.com Bowl, January 2, 11 a.m., ESPN – South Carolina (7-5) vs. Connecticut (7-5)
More January sacrilege, but at least this game is in this country at a slightly more reasonable time. And it’s always fun to watch Steve Spurrier’s facial expression when his quarterback throws a pick. When a coach’s reaction is the selling point, though, you’ve got marketing problems. Continue watching the cartoons.
13. Cotton Bowl, January 2, 11 a.m., Fox – Oklahoma State (9-3) vs. Mississippi (8-4)
You could call this the Disappointment Bowl. Two teams with preseason hopes of a BCS game berth, each with a quarterback (Jevan Snead of Ole Miss, Zac Robinson of Oklahoma State) who was in the preseason Heisman discussion before slipping out of sight, get together in a bowl that is better than they deserve.
18. Liberty Bowl, January 2, 2:30 p.m., ESPN – Arkansas (7-5) vs. East Carolina (9-4)
A Saturday afternoon game with no NFL game or other bowl game in sight gives it an attractive time slot, and Hogs QB Ryan Mallett can look good at times. East Carolina and its quarterback, Patrick Pinkney, played much better at the end of the season, but there’s nothing to keep you indoors if it’s a nice day.
19. Alamo Bowl, January 2, 6 p.m., ESPN – Michigan State (6-6) vs. Texas Tech (8-4)
If you have nothing planned for the evening, Texas Tech coach Mike Leach runs a fun, wide-open offense, and he’s liable to say anything during a pregame, halftime or postgame interview, so try to catch that. In the meantime, slip in a DVD and watch “Inglourious Basterds.”
4. Fiesta Bowl, January 4, 5 p.m., Fox – Boise State (13-0) vs. TCU (12-0)
This is a good game between two talented teams with underrated quarterbacks (Boise’s Kellen Moore ad TCU’s Andy Dalton), and both teams probably believe they should be in the national title game. But it sort of defeats the purpose to have these teams play each other, instead of matching each against a “major conference” opponent for a David-and-Goliath effect.
6. Orange Bowl, January 5, 5 p.m., Fox – Iowa (10-2) vs. Georgia Tech (10-2)
Georgia Tech runs the triple-option, which can be interesting if it is working, but boring if it isn’t. Some say Iowa has been lucky rather than good this season, and the Hawkeyes lost two of their final three games. But Iowa QB Ricky Stanzi, who missed the final 2 ½ games with a badly sprained ankle, is expected to play.
30. GMAC Bowl, January 6, 4 p.m., ESPN – Central Michigan (11-2) vs. Troy (9-3)
What in the world is this game doing being played this late? If you have absolutely nothing to do on a late Wednesday afternoon, and it’s raining, you could catch Central Michigan QB Dan LeFevour, who holds the NCAA record for career touchdowns scored by passing, rushing or receiving.
1. National Championship Game, January 7, 5 p.m., ABC — Texas (13-0) vs. Alabama (13-0)
This game in Pasadena could be a dandy and is, of course, the focus of the postseason. Alabama running back Mark Ingram will try to shake the Heisman jinx, which seems to transform Heisman Trophy winners into Average Joes in the postseason. Texas QB Colt McCoy will be challenged by Alabama’s defense, but he won’t stink it up again like he did against Nebraska. Tell your wife well beforehand that she won’t be watching her regular Thursday-evening programs this night – not on the HD TV, anyway.
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